Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Detective Kokonut and Inspector Jaan

"Yet another murder!" cried an orderly.
"How did you find out?" asked the chief.
"I saw him lying dead with blood spurting out from his petiole and pronotum in the portico of that home. Shit, I am scared."
It sent shivers down everyone's spine standing there.
"Detective Kokonut!" shouted the chief.

An ant dawdled to the center of the place. "Yes sir! I will take care of this preposterous thing. No more murders shall take place."

It was an ant colony built by them a few days ago in a hole in kitchen. They were all living happily before these murders took place. This is the fourth one. Inspector Jaan was already standing there looking at the corpse and musing. It was a small portico at the back of the house which was 10 feet away from their living place. It was built with mosaic floor with a garden at the other side. There was a room directly above that portico and another room adjacent to it. It was surrounded by concrete closings except for the two sides.

“Never tamper any evidence at my crime scene!” shouted Jaan.

Kokonut smiled.
“I am convinced that this is an accident!” said the inspector.
“I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts,” Said Kokonut. 

He started to make notes by observing every piece of the place using a convex lens he had.
"Where are the forensic people?" questioned the detective. 

"Sir! One hour before sir!"
"Any evidences?"
"No sir. Crushed and killed. Perhaps an accident again."
Kokonut went near the victim and touched his body. "Hmm, wet! Weakened legs due to torture! Last minute struggle! Grief face! Opened mouth indicating that he tried to call for help at last! two cuts with different times of happening. A gap of 20 mins at most. Call the guard who was on portico duty an hour back! Murder!"

"How sir?"
"You will know in a short while! Wetness! There has been no rain for the past four days. The house servant has been absent for the past three days and so none could have washed the floor. No sight of any water drops around the place. A small cup with water is here at one corner with not even a single droplet around. Hmm! Blood smell in this! I need a group of 10 army ants to volunteer for this case.”

The guard ant made his arrival before the detective. “Sir!”
“Yes, did you see Alex here before an hour?”
“Do you mean the youngest son of the owner of this home? Yes sir, he was putting something down from his hand.”
“Did you see what he was dropping?”
“No sir, I was at the far end of this place. I only got a glimpse and not a full view.”
“Okay you may leave now!”

“Sir, Alex was reading a book an hour before in the hall. There is a Florentine paper bookmark in that book,” said one of the ants.
“Ok show me that book.”
“It’s on the table. We will lead you!”
(Mumbles) “Bookmark is in the page 76. So two pages before it. 74. No. 73, 72,
(Shouts) “here it is. Notice a small blood drop in the corner of the book. Ok. Few water droplets here.”
“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

“I am hereby presenting the murderer of the week. Alex! When I arrived here, I learnt that Alex is a die-hard fan of torture porn genre of films and books. The book we found on his table was one of those books. The blood spot in page 72 of the book is same as that of the victim’s. The blood from the one of the cuts of the victim's body is by the nail which should have been made when he was picking up the ant. He then put it in a cup of water. He must have enjoyed watching the ant’s last minutes as it struggled to escape. It eventually died. And he dropped it in the portico and hence the other cut and kept the cup there. We must henceforth be safe and should not go out alone in the broad day light.”

The chief imposed a curfew indefinitely. Inspector Jaan always felt a bit envious of him. He wanted fame. He decided to punish Alex and earn a high name. He secretly followed Alex. But Kokonut found this and warned Jaan but he never respected him. Once he heard the conversation of Alex and his friends.

“Hey Alex, do you know what happened to Dazzy, when she was riding her cycle?”
“No. What happened?”
“She was riding her cycle. An ant stuck her in her arm. She lost her balance and fractured her arm.”

Jaan got a notion. He climbed onto the shirt of Alex and waited for the right time. Alex started his bike. He slowly crawled on the hand of Alex and prepared itself for the brave but stupid job.

“Sir, Inspector Jaan is missing!”
(Mumbles) "His ignorance is as remarkable as his knowledge."
“Never mind, he attempted suicide!” Kokonut chuckled.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Bang bang bang

There I was sitting in front of the computer seeing and enjoying The Big Bang Theory in a hot summer evening. I am always amused by the explanatory statements of Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I was trying to imitate his style of knocking one's door for the past few days.

("[knock knock knock] Penny! [knock knock knock] Penny! [knock knock knock] Penny!" being the most common).

There was a similar on my door then.

"[knock knock knock] Hari! [knock knock knock] Hari! [knock knock knock] Hari!"

It was my mom. I asked her what it was. She replied that she had some errands to run and that she needed me to take her out. I prayed God that that should not be another dress-purchase job. I had never felt anything else so awkward, dumb or idiotic than go to a textile shop. I switched off my system, put my shirt on and came out. I asked her where we were going. She said that she would tell me on the way. I then had little idea that a collateral damage awaited me. We were past the familiar streets of our neighborhood.

"Drive to Seeman textiles!" said my mom.
"What?!! Oh My Holy God! Shit!"

I applied sudden brakes. My mom gave a hysterical villain smile. I knew somehow that that was going to be yet another dumb dress-purchase.

"Why didn't you tell me before starting?" I asked.
"Drive!" A monosyllabic reply.

We came to the shop and yes, I have a fear of shops. For Goodness' sake, I did bring my headset. I put it on and started listening to some music.

"Aren't you coming inside?"
"No Way!"

[It's too late to apologize... Its too late... hoo-hah... ]

I noticed the shop opposite to which I was standing. It was a snack shop. There was a customer standing and complaining about the size of the samosa. "It is too small and so I'll pay only Rs.2 for each and not Rs.3" and I started laughing.

[Kodana kodi athil kulipom...]

"Please move your vehicle sir. I need to park mine."
I got down and lifted it and moved it aside.

[Waka waka eh eh...]

"Please move your vehicle sir. I need to take out mine."
"Shit!" I got down and lifted it and moved it aside.

[Marugo marugooo...]

It started drizzling which was in resonance with my mom's call from the shop. I went in cursing the rain.

"Select one shirt from the ones I have put down!"
I did one without even noticing.
"Now don't go out in the rain. Stand here itself."

[Paal poleh pathinaaru... enakoru girlfriend venumada...]

I went and stood near a mannequin (male, of course!). The shop was crowded and I was watching people shouting, laughing, talking, whispering, musing and everything. A lady was looking every section for the past two hours and ordered the people there to take and show all the clothes. At last she bought a small handkerchief. 

[Aal izz well... ]

"Hey don't stand in the way!" A boy from that shop said in an awkward tone seeing my headset. I moved. It had been two hours since I had started from home. I went near my mom and asked if her purchase was over. She said that she still had to. I started becoming peevish. I just wanted to run from that place. 

[Anjana anjana... ]

Suddenly a voice.
"Enada dress vanga vanthiya inga?" (Did you come here to buy a dress?)
"Illa paal vanga vanthen!" (No, I came to buy milk!)
"Ippovum athe mari thamasha pesra da!" (You are talking amusingly like always)
I gave a grin.
"Amma engada?" (Where is your mom?)
"Anga!" (Over there)

[Beautiful... beautiful...]

This aunt increased my duration there. She talked a two-month story to my mom. I was red. Mom, it's getting too late. At last she came out.

"Pathiya evalo seekram mudichuten!" (See how quick did I finish my purchase?)
"Romba seekram!" (So fast!)

I started my bike making a firm decision in my mind that I ll never come out without asking about the place! There was a sound in my head.

"[Bang bang bang] Hari! [Bang bang bang] Hari! [Bang bang bang] Hari!"

P.S: While I am writing this, my mom is knocking my door and asking me to get ready 
to take her out. "Oh shit!"

Saturday, June 9, 2012



That was the moment Dabeet has been waiting for the past 7 years. Dabeet means warrior. His parents had chosen him the right name. The elegant hall in the very famous hotel of Pune was filled with the authorities, some politicians and the press people. Midst them Dabeet's revenge was standing with a grin in his face. His name was famous then , "Adrian!" Its a personification of dark. There were several cliched clicking sounds of camera. 

"Sir, one photo please."
"Sir, How do you feel at this moment?"

Dabeet looked at the room and its grand stylish adorable decorations. His dad would have loved seeing him in that room. He might be looking him. 


Two days back,

The shooting order was given. It was a thick forest more like a maze.The very famous encounter specialists with a few locals went inside the woods. Adrian was one among them and he was in-charge of that encounter. No one then knew this was going to be his another FAKE one. That forest was said to be under the control of a terrorist group.He wanted fame. He wanted pride. He wanted money. He wanted popularity. So he took efforts to get that shooting order. Rightly, he was named Adrian!

He went inside towards the center. No signs of weapons or terrorist personified people. Only common people were wandering for their daily wages collecting fire woods and herbs. His blood boiled and he suddenly shouted "Open fire!" After several gunshots, a dozen of people were lying dead. There was no resist from them for they were common people. Two of them were arrested with fatal injuries. 

There is a famous joke. "If you cant catch a tiger, catch a cat and beat until it accepts that its a tiger!" That happened. Both of them were tortured and they accepted for no more they could accept pain. One of those two died in the prison. 


Newspaper hailed Adrian as a great, courageous officer. There were several functions held by various ministries to felicitate him. This was one such function. Dabeet was watching him.

"Sir, This is your another famous encounter. How did you get that courage to go deep inside that dark woods where no one else dared to go?"

"Several thoughts were going through my mind. But i was very much determined to destroy them. I wanted to win this patriotic game so all i said to myself was "Nation, nation, nation!!!""

(Applause sound) Dabeet could no more resist.

"Sir, whom do you want to thank at this moment?"

"My Nation, head, family, other officials who helped me and every single citizen of this countryyyyyyyyyyyyyy  aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"

"sirrrrrrr," people yelled. Blood was spurting on to the floor from a massive bullet wound in his chest.

"Catch him!" came out orders. Dabeet dint run away instead he came forward and stood with a pride in his face surrendering himself. 

"Let this be a lesson!" said Dabeet. 

(Adrian sat transfixed and in fact he was dying.)


Papers and news channels flashed his face the next day. Innocent people were watching this person through out the day. 

The Police asked him the usual first question," Why did you do that?"

"Because he was my uncle!" said Dabeet.


P.S: There are several incidents happening even today across the country. Should not we help and save those innocent people from fake encounters? Wasn't Dabeet a true soldier? (In social awakening!)

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